Build it up and watch it fall.

Why in the hell is my life so up and down? It's this roller coaster of amazing times and absolute crap. I spent one wonderful Saturday with Jerry. We talked, we laughed, we lived, we loved. Sounds a bit silly when you say it like that, but really...my heart was full. I remembered exactly why this man is WHO I want to spend my life with. I am completely myself 100% at ease with him. Even despite the hurts I went through last week, Saturday was a day I completely forgot about all of it and saw that I can move on and be happy.

Then, Saturday night...the MIL stuck her nose into our world. The whole ordeal with her is completely ridiculous and I've just had my fill of it all. She sidelined me a few weeks back asking to, and I quote, "place little favor bags on the tables for each place setting". I agreed to let this fly even though I was not excited about it from the start. I told her that I was not a fan of wedding favors, which is why Jerry and I decided to save that money and spend it elsewhere. Well, turns out these LITTLE bags are BIGGER than my table centerpieces. They basically look like a brown paper lunch sack...only they are black paper instead of brown. EXTREMELY tacky and HUGE! On top of this, the MIL tells us that she has purchased glass photo coasters for favor gifts. This was something she never asked us about. Jerry was livid and as you all can imagine, so was I. He says, "she won't be having any of this stuff on our tables. it is tacky and inappropriate and I'm not having it". Guess what happened next....

A) Jerry tells his mom to take the favors and shove them up her ass.
B) Jerry let her have them.

Well if you guessed B then you are right on the money with how this whole thing works out. He tells her he doesn't want them, but because this woman is such an awesome person, erm I mean total bitch...she yells at him. He says well fine you can just have them in a basket or box for people to pick up. How is this going to be ANY different? The point was to NOT have them so the extremely tacky bags were not scattered all over tables full of our very expensive flower arrangements, taking up space and looking ridiculous.

I'm completely pissed and fed up. Not only with her but him as well. Why is this man so afraid of his mother? They both need for him to take charge and define their roles. He is NOT a baby and should be treated with respect. Even if she does not agree on what he wants...it's HIS wedding and she should respect the decisions he makes. I just don't know where to go from here. We are talking about calling the whole thing off and just running off to get married somewhere. It's been an awful ride and extremely taxing on our relationship. I want my life to be like Saturday, where we can just be us. We didn't talk about the wedding, didn't worry about anything but what WE wanted to do for the day. There was so much peace and comfort in that freedom. I suppose at this point I have to suffer through the day and remind myself I'm doing it for him and because it's too much money to give away and get nothing back from. Yet, that seems wrong. Maybe I'm just not supposed to win on this...maybe I should just take a back seat and deal with how things play out. All I really know is that I do NOT like the MIL. She is a nothing but a bitch who I would love to tell off and dis-invite to this wedding.