Tuesday, October 13, 2009

If I were to die...?

Last night Jerry and I were out and about doing some grocery shopping, which by the way is the one chore I hate more than any other. Such a production to make a list, drive to the store, sort through all the isles, pick out each individual thing, read labels, see new items and decide you want to try, go check out, wait in line, take everything out of the cart and put it onto the conveyor and realize your cart is now full of more things that weren't on your list than were on there, put all this new junk back into your cart, move to the bagging line, place each item into 8 bazillion bags, put them BACK into the cart again, get them into your car, drive home, deal with getting them all back out and finally trying to find a place to fit all of it in your fridge. Phew yes that was a long run-on sentence but you get the point. I HATE this production. I would rather deal with eating out, crappy food, than to have to go to the store. Thank God Jerry doesn't mind doing this job on his own most of the time. But, I digress.

Anyway, while on our way home we started talking about loving one another for eternity. Did you read that right ETERNITY! Number one, is this even possible? Number two, lets suppose it is possible. What happens when one of us dies? I mean, people lose spouses all the time and some younger than others. I always hear people encourage the person left in this world to carry on, move on, love another, remarry, etc and usually they say, "your dead spouse would 'want' you to move on and love again". How do you KNOW that's what the wishes of the dead would be? I mean, is this a conversation we should have with our loved ones? If I die please re-marry or if I die I would no longer love you if you did re-marry? How does that work really? Yes this is a totally random thought but Jerry was quite intrigued with it. In fact, its a conversation he says we "need" to have.

What are your thoughts on this? I mean say I died tomorrow, I wouldn't want him to feel like he has to spent the REST of his life mourning me and I would want him to move on and enjoy life without me. But what about a situation where we have been married for 40 years? I would be 70 years old. At that point I dunno. I suppose plenty of 70 year old people still have alot of life left, yet I can't imagine even wanting to be with anyone else when I just spent the last 40 years with the one I love. So any thoughts on this?


Goose said...

I definitely think some people talk about this subject. I also think it's an individual choice as to what they feel is right for them. I definitely think couples who know one of them is going to die will often have this conversation. My uncle told my aunt he hoped she finds someone else. I think when death is unexpected it definitely makes the choice harder. I also think you can fall in love again no matter how old you are. You may think when your 70 you wouldn't want to love anyone else but I also think it can get very lonely and it might be nice to have another companion.

otin said...

I think that for me this would be one of those, "we will cross that bridge when we get to it" situations! I think sometimes we can over analyze life and death.

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